Stuff You Need, So You Can Be Prepared For 2017

  • A Hoverboard
    • As you probably know these were all the rage in 2016, but in 2017 there gonna be even more popular. People are getting lazy, so even though many pretend they dislike this mode of transportation they secretly crave it. 
  • Trump Apparel
    • Let me be clear, I DON'T SUPPORT TRUMP. I have been against Trump since the day he announced his presidency. However Trump is our next president and no matter how stupid he is, he's going to become the most powerful person in the world. I know what your thinking, "the president isn't the most powerful person in the world, in America we have checks and balances" However, I say that if you are rich and a world leader you're up there. In summary Trump is powerful, you gotta wear his gear.
  • A Lightsaber
    • Star Wars was huge in the 70s and 80s and then again in the 2000s when the prequels came out. Now that the new movies are coming out, if you don't already have a lightsaber, you gonna need one. Lightsaber battles are gonna break out in the street on a daily basis, so you better be ready to defend yourself. 
  • Apple Adapters
    • I'm not a fan of Apple. There are quite a few reasons for this, which is a story for another time. However, Apple is all the rage and if you wanna use any Apple device you're gonna need some Apple adapters. If you don't know Apple has created the most complex set of adapters when releasing their new line of products. Basically, Apple is stupid, but that seems to be the theme for 2017, so you should get yourself some adapters.
  • A Fallout Shelter
    • In 2017 almost everybody is gonna have the items listed above, Trump is going to be the president of the US and Muhammad Ali will still be dead. The combination of all these things will undoubtedly lead to a nuclear war. The Apple adapters alone will lead to a nuclear war, never mind having Donald Trump as president. In order to protect yourself from nuclear radiation you should probably get yourself a nice fallout shelter. How, you ask? I have no idea, figure it out... Happy 2017! 
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