After much careful research it has been discovered that the artist Vincent Van Gogh had many relatives.
Among them were:
His obnoxious brother, Please Gogh
The brother who worked at a convenience store, Stop'n Gogh
The grandfather from Yugoslavia, U. Gogh
The brother who bleached his clothes white, Hue Gogh
The cousin from Illinois, Chica Gogh
His magician uncle, Wherediddy Gogh
His Mexican cousin, Amee Gogh
The ballroom dancing aunt, Tan Gogh
The bird lover uncle, Flamin Gogh
The fruit loving cousin, Man Gogh
An aunt who taught positive thinking, Wayto Gogh
The little bouncy nephew, Poe Gogh
And his niece who travels the country in a van, Winnie Bay Gogh. Happy Birthday Vincent van Gogh
Happy Birthday Vince Vaughn
Q: What kind of table has no legs?
A: A multiplication table.
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New York Rangers @ Boston Bruins 1:00 PM
Happy Birthday to Liam's little sister
Q: How can you tell if an Irishman is having a good time?
A: He's Dublin' over with laughter!
Buffalo Sabres @ Boston Bruins 7:30 PM
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Happy Birthday Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people, then it exploded.
Chuck Norris once broke a mirror over the head of a black cat while standing under a ladder on Friday the thirteenth. The next day he won the lottery.
Chuck Norris can speak French... In Russian.
Chuck Norris can put out a fire with a gallon of gasoline
Chuck Norris once climbed Mt. Everest in 15 minutes, 14 of which he was building a snowman at the bottom.
A bulletproof vest wears Chuck Norris for protection.
Death once had a near-Chuck-Norris experience.
Chuck Norris doesn't dial the wrong number, you pick up the wrong phone.
Fear of spiders is called arachnophobia, fear of tight spaces is called claustrophobia, and fear of Chuck Norris is just plain logic.
Chuck Norris can cut a knife with butter.
Chuck can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
Chuck Norris can hear sign language.
Chuck Norris beat the sun in a staring contest.
When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.
Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris' leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death. He wins fair and square.
When Chuck Norris was in middle school, his English teacher assigned an essay: "What is courage?" He received an A+ for turning in a blank page with only his name at the top.
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd. No one fools Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris was born he drove his mom home from the hospital.
Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch. He decides what time it is.
Big foot claims he saw Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris makes onions cry.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity. Twice.
Chuck Norris can hit you so hard your blood will bleed.
Chuck Norris can drown a fish.
Q. What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
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Happy Birthday Reggie Bush, Ben Roethlisberger, Dr Seuss: