March 31, 2015

Q: How is Ducktape like the Force?
A: It has a Dark Side, a Light side and it binds the galaxy together
Happy Birthday Obi-Wan Kenobi (Ewan McGregor)

March 30, 2015

After much careful research it has been discovered that the artist Vincent Van Gogh had many relatives.
Among them were:
His obnoxious brother, Please Gogh
The brother who worked at a convenience store, Stop'n Gogh
The grandfather from Yugoslavia, U. Gogh
The brother who bleached his clothes white, Hue Gogh
The cousin from Illinois, Chica Gogh
His magician uncle, Wherediddy Gogh
His Mexican cousin, Amee Gogh
The ballroom dancing aunt, Tan Gogh
The bird lover uncle, Flamin Gogh
The fruit loving cousin, Man Gogh
An aunt who taught positive thinking, Wayto Gogh
The little bouncy nephew, Poe Gogh
And his niece who travels the country in a van, Winnie Bay Gogh.
Happy Birthday Vincent van Gogh

March 29, 2015

Happy Birthday John Tyler
Boston Bruins @ Carolina Hurricanes 5:00 PM

March 28, 2015

Happy Birthday Vince Vaughn
Q: What kind of table has no legs?
A: A multiplication table.
Only 18 Days left to vote on my breakfast cereal poll and remember, if you have any ideas for my
next poll then please let me know through the comments or through the contact form.
New York Rangers @ Boston Bruins 1:00 PM

March 27, 2015

Happy Birthday Manuel Neuer
Q: What does the winner of the race lose?
A: His breath.

March 26, 2015

Q: What can you hold without using your hands?
A: Your breath!
Anaheim Ducks @ Boston Bruins 7:00 PM
Happy Birthday Leonard Nimoy

March 25, 2015

Q: Where do all the letters sleep?
A: In the alphabed.
Happy Birthday Ryan Lewis

March 24, 2015

Q: What would you call a humorous knee?
A: Fun-knee!
Happy Birthday Jim Parsons

March 23, 2015

Happy Birthday Kyrie Irving
Q: Why did the strawberry call 911?
A: It was in a jam!

March 22, 2015

Q: What do you call a young army?
A: Infantry.
Boston Bruins @ Tampa Bay Lightning 5:00 PM
Happy Birthday Captain James T. Kirk (William Shatner)

March 21, 2015

Happy Birthday Garry Oldman
Q: What is the opposite of a restaurant?
A: A workaraunt.

March 20, 2015

Happy First Day of Spring
Q: Why did the spy stay in bed?
A: Because he was under cover.
Happy Birthday Bobby Orr

March 18, 2015

Happy Birthday Zdeno Chara
Q: Where do cars go for a swim?
A: At the carpool!

March 17, 2015

Happy Birthday to Liam's little sister
Q: How can you tell if an Irishman is having a good time?
A: He's Dublin' over with laughter!
Buffalo Sabres @ Boston Bruins 7:30 PM
Happy Saint Patrick's Day

March 16, 2015

Happy Birthday James Madison
Q. What Game Do You NEVER EVER Play with Unicorns?
A. Leap Frog!

March 15, 2015

Q. Why Can't You Tell A Pig a Secret?
A. Because He's A Squealer!
Boston Bruins @ Washington Capitals 7:30 PM
Happy Birthday Will I Am

March 14, 2015

March 12, 2015

Happy Birthday Mitt Romney
Q. What cheese is made backwards ?
A. Edam ?

March 11, 2015

Q: What do George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, and Christopher Columbus all have in common?
A: They were all born on holidays.
Happy Birthday Malcolm Merlyn (John Barrowman)

March 10, 2015

Happy Birthday Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people, then it exploded.
Chuck Norris once broke a mirror over the head of a black cat while standing under a ladder on Friday the thirteenth. The next day he won the lottery.
Chuck Norris can speak French... In Russian.
Chuck Norris can put out a fire with a gallon of gasoline
Chuck Norris once climbed Mt. Everest in 15 minutes, 14 of which he was building a snowman at the bottom.
A bulletproof vest wears Chuck Norris for protection.
Death once had a near-Chuck-Norris experience.
Chuck Norris doesn't dial the wrong number, you pick up the wrong phone.
Fear of spiders is called arachnophobia, fear of tight spaces is called claustrophobia, and fear of Chuck Norris is just plain logic.
Chuck Norris can cut a knife with butter.
Chuck can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
Chuck Norris can hear sign language.
Chuck Norris beat the sun in a staring contest.
When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.
Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris' leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death. He wins fair and square.
When Chuck Norris was in middle school, his English teacher assigned an essay: "What is courage?" He received an A+ for turning in a blank page with only his name at the top.
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd. No one fools Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris was born he drove his mom home from the hospital.
Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch. He decides what time it is.
Big foot claims he saw Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris makes onions cry.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity. Twice.
Chuck Norris can hit you so hard your blood will bleed.
Chuck Norris can drown a fish.

March 9, 2015

Monday ):
Happy Birthday Clint Dempsey
Joe: A noise woke me up this morning.
Jose: What was that ?
Joe: The crack of dawn

March 8, 2015

Happy International Women's Day
Happy Birthday Hines Ward
Q. Whats red and flies and wobbles at the same time ?
A. A jelly copter !
Detroit Red Wings @ Boston Bruins 12:30 PM

March 7, 2015

Happy Birthday Luther Burbank
Q. Why can't you borrow money from a leprechaun?
A. Because they're always a little short.

March 4, 2015

Happy Birthday Landon Donovan
Q. How do you make milk shake ?
A. Give it a good scare !

March 3, 2015

Happy Birthday Alexander Graham Bell
Q. When doesn't a telephone work underwater?
A. When it's wringing wet!

March 2, 2015

Monday ):
Q. What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
Q. "Supplies!"
(Evan Antonakes)
Vote on the New Breakfast Cereal Poll
Check Out my Blog on the Chrome Web Store here and on the sidebar
Happy Birthday Reggie Bush, Ben Roethlisberger, Dr Seuss:

James Bond (Daniel Craig),

and last but definitely not least Jon Bon Jovi