June 30, 2014

Happy Birthday Michael Phelps
Q: How do rabbits travel?
A: By hareplane.

June 29, 2014

Happy Birthday Neil Perry
Q: Why did the man stand behind the horse?
A: He was hoping to get a kick out of it
Netherlands vs. Mexico 12:00 PM

June 28, 2014

Happy Birthday King Henry VIII
Q: Which side of the horse has the most hair?
A: The outside!

June 27, 2014

Happy Birthday Helen Keller
Q: What did the teacher say when the horse walked into the class?
A: Why the long face?

June 26, 2014

Happy Birthday Ariana Grande
Q: What did the horse say when it fell?
A: I've fallen and I can't giddyup!
United States vs. Germany 12:00 PM

June 25, 2014

Happy Birthday Carter Tracey
Q: A man rode his horse to town on Friday. The next day he rode back on Friday. How is this possible?
A: The horse's name was Friday.

June 24, 2014

Happy Birthday Lionel Messi
Q: Teacher: You missed school yesterday, didn't you?
A: Student: Not really.
Italy vs. Uruguay 12:00 PM

June 23, 2014

Happy Birthday June Cash
Q: How do you keep an elephant from charging?
A: You take away its credit cards!
Netherlands vs Chile 12:00 PM

June 22, 2014

Happy Birthday Kris Kristofferson
Q: What do you do when you see an elephant with a basketball?
A: Get out of its way!
United States vs. Portugal 6:00 PM (World Cup)

June 21, 2014

Happy Birthday Lana Del Rey
Q: What would you do if an elephant sat in front of you at a movie?
A: Miss most of the film.

June 20, 2014

Happy Birthday Frank Lampard
Q: What time is it when an elephant sits on the fence?
A: Time to fix the fence!

June 19, 2014

Beach Day
Q: What has fangs and webbed feet?
A: Count Duckula
Happy Birthday Macklemore

June 18, 2014

Q: What do you get if you cross fireworks with a duck?
A: A firequacker!
Happy Birthday Paul McCartney

June 17, 2014

Q: What do ducks get after they eat?
A: A bill!
Happy Birthday Rory Williams (Arthur Darvill)

June 16, 2014

Happy Birthday Rick Nash
Q: What type of markets do dogs avoid?
A: Flea markets!

June 13, 2014

Q: What did the cowboy say when his dog ran away?
A: Well, doggone!
New York Rangers @ Los Angles Kings 8:00 PM
Happy Birthday Captain America (Chris Evans)

June 12, 2014

Happy Birthday George H. W. Bush
Q. How are dogs and cellphones alike?
A. They both have collar ID's

June 11, 2014

Q: What dog keeps the best time?
A: A watch dog!
Los Angles Kings @ New York Rangers 8:00 PM
Happy Birthday Willy Wonka (Gene Wilder)

June 10, 2014

Happy Birthday Sasha Obama
Q: What do you get when a dinosaur scores a touchdown?
A: A dino-score

June 9, 2014

Monday ):
A pirate walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. What happened, you look terrible!"
"What do you mean?" the pirate replies, "I'm fine."
The bartender says, "But what about that wooden leg? You didn't have that before."
"Well," says the pirate, "We were in a battle at sea and a cannon ball hit my leg but the surgeon fixed me up, and I'm fine, really."
"Yeah," says the bartender, "But what about that hook? Last time I saw you, you had both hands."
"Well," says the pirate, "We were in another battle and we boarded the enemy ship. I was in a sword fight and my hand was cut off but the surgeon fixed me up with this hook, and I feel great, really."
"Oh," says the bartender, "What about that eye patch? Last time you were in here you had both eyes."
"Well," says the pirate, "One day when we were at sea, some birds were flying over the ship. I looked up, and one of them shat in my eye."
"So?" replied the bartender, "what happened? You couldn't have lost an eye just from some bird shit!"
"Well," says the pirate, "I really wasn't used to the hook yet."
Los Angles Kings @ New York Rangers 8:00 PM
Happy Birthday Johnny Depp

June 8, 2014

Happy Birthday Kanye West
Q: What do you call a paleontologist who sleeps all the time?
A:  Lazy Bones

June 7, 2014

Q: What is the best thing to do if you see a Tyrannosaurus Rex?
A: Pray that it doesn't see you.

New York Rangers @ Los Angles Kings 7:00 PM
Happy Birthday Dean Martin

June 6, 2014

Happy Birthday Lucius Malfoy (Jason Isaacs)
Q: What do dinosaurs use on the floors of their kitchens?
A: Rep-tiles

June 5, 2014

Happy Birthday Rick Riordan and Kenny G
Q: Why was the Stegosaurus such a good volleyball player?
A: Because he could really spike the ball!

June 4, 2014

Happy Birthday Dr. Nefario (Russel Brand)
Q: What did the dinosaur put on her steak?
A: Dinosauce
New York Rangers @ Los Angeles Kings 8:00 PM

June 3, 2014

Happy Birthday Rafael Nadal
Q: How can you best raise a baby dinosaur?
A: With a crane!

June 2, 2014

Happy Birthday Zachary Quinto
Q: What dinosaur would Harry Potter be?
A: The Dinosorcerer

June 1, 2014

Happy Birthday Morgan Freeman
Q: How do you know if there is a dinosaur in your refrigerator?
A: The door won't shut!